Starting Again

I'm always happy when I get a chance to start over.
To get my priorities straight.
Remember what I want in life, and how I want to be treated.

If there's someone who doesn't treat you how you KNOW you should be treated...
They don't deserve to be part of your life.
It took me a long time to figure that out about myself. I'm strong enough, I don't need someone else determing my worth.

I can't see my future, but right now it looks bright. I can't see anything certain, but I know life is only as good as you want and make it out to be.
Live in the moment, cherish the time you have. You don't get this time back.
I love where I'm at in life now.

people hurt you sometimes.

Sometimes you have to let them go.

If you love something, let it go.

If it comes back, it's yours.

If it doesn't, it never was.

Lightning

And in one moment you were illuminated far brighter than you thought you could ever shine...

And the next, you were left alone in the dark, burned out, with only an echo of what was once there.

People make mistakes. That is to be human.

But... To make the same mistake over and over. That's just stupid.

And you can't fix stupid.

Love Is All You Need

I believe this.

People get angry, people leave, say things they don't mean, get hurt, feel left out, realize they're jealous, take out their anger on the person they love most, feel irritated with their best friends, hurt others unintentionally, and sometimes on purpose, but the difference between parting ways for life and forgiving and forgetting is one thing:

Love.

I hope I can always find it in me to forgive. To remember I'm not perfect either, and forget other's faults and see the best in them. Because that's what I would want other's to do for me.

I've been working on that lately too, if I find myself feeling irritated with someone, I take a step back and tell myself that what they are saying, or doing is who they are. And if I can't accept that, I don't deserve them as a friend.

Acceptance is the key to the door to love. And cynicism is the door that keeps us from getting there.

Love others as they are.

Forgive them for what they are not.

Learn to see yourself as others do, and if you don't like what you see: Change.

Be the person you want to see in the mirror. Make yourself that person.

I'm on my way to being the person I really want to be.

Accepted

Brigham Young University Idaho has a new student! Can you guess?

It's me!

That's half my stress gone, right there. I'm going to college! I have to start paying attention to the 'R' word now....

Responsibility.

What's that?

Responsibility, not quite yet...

No, I'm kidding. I can handle that. But I have the feeling I'll be spending alot of time on the computer applying for scholarships and grants and all other mannerisms of financial aid.

I've been told to stay away from student loans.

Is this accurate?

I think it is...

I guess that's a sure fire way to get into debt? Is what I've been told. So no loans for me.

Scholarships and grants all the way!

When I got my acceptance letter via e-mail, I started screaming. Then my whole family started screaming too. It was a madhouse for a few minutes.

I'm glad I have a family that gets excited with me, and for me.

That's real love right there.

Oh, and this summer, I think I'll have a job that pays 15 buckaroos an hour. What is this job, you may ask? I get to stand in the sun, get a tan, and hold a sign. Not just any sign, oh no!

It says "Stop" on one side, and "Slow" on the other.

Crazy! These construction people really know how to shake it up!

Belated Birthday Tales

The birthday was awesome. And the party seemed like it lasted all weekend. It was great!

I have some of the best friends in the world! Logan (that's his eye up there) arranged a surprise party for me, and the friends that matter most were all there. It was a great birthday. One of the best. My Dad went all out. He took me and a bunch of friends to Applebee's; that was one of the funnest things ever. We were so loud!

I bet we were the people that everyone else in the restaurant couldn't wait for to leave. After an hour or so, we did. I could feel the sigh of relief as we walked out the door.

But the hotel came next. They were in for it.

I have the absolute funkiest, funniest, prettiest and amazing friends. I'm so grateful for them!


This is Samm. She is Logan's little sister, and one of the funniest girls I know! We talk to eachother in 'Brooklyn accents', cuz "we're from Brooklyn honey."



I look any different since my age change? (I don't feel very different. I guess that's how it works.)

Oh, so funny story. At 12:30, my room got a phone call. I was a little confused, cuz it was late, and we were being quiet (sort of), why would anyone call?

I pick up the phone, say hello, and this voice, I swear they were stoned, said:

"Hey, you guys want to shut the eff up?"

Except they didn't say 'eff''.

I didn't skip a beat, I shot right back, "How bout you grow some effin manners first?"

We didn't have any trouble after that.

And we watched The Notebook. First time I watched that movie I was in love. It changed my whole outlook on everything about teenage love. And it fit my current situation in life, too. It was perfect... And then reality hit me, and I realized that people change with time.

But I'm not here to talk about that now.

Samm ish mine:)


This is Sina. She's great. The stuff that comes out of her mouth makes me laugh so hard, it's out of control. These are my friends! (This was taken at probably 3 in the morning, so Logan was not present)

Overall, my birthday was a definite success. I'm so glad it was.

Birthday Girl!!!!

Happy Birthday to me! I am now eighteen! I feel so old now, but oh so free!!

I don't really feel that different... I knew I wouldn't, but I can hope right?

Today has been good so far! I'm in school right now, supposed to be working on stuff, but...nah!

I've been told Happy Birthday lots of times today, I feel so loved! I'm grateful for the friends I have. My Dad's even driving all the way out from Washington state to Idaho to see me for my birthday. Later tonight he's going to take me and some friends out to dinner, and then we're going to a hotel and go swimming and movie night. Gonna be a good day!

An interesting topic though.... What makes a person feel older? Is it suddenly one day you wake up and you're in your 50's or 60's and voila you're old? Cuz I feel old now... My youngest sister, Lillie, she's 5. When she's a freshman in high school, I'm going to be in my thirties. =O



I feel ancient.

Landscape

Today was a little hard. I had to remind myself not to think about what I lost. I had to keep telling myself that it wouldn't help to beat myself up over things I said, and should have said.

I realized it's all about attitude. If I want to brood, and feel sorry for myself, and be miserable, then that's exactly what will happen and how I'll feel. So whenever a song came on that could possibly make me sad, IF I let it, I would either change it or refuse to be sad.

It's not always that easy, but I don't want to be sad anymore.

Things got better after that.

It doesn't do any good to think about the future, it comes quickly enough. Things have a way of working themselves out in time.
Sometimes I feel like all that's happened in my life is just a barren landscape, with a little pile of something here, a mound of something there, making my ground a little bumpy, but nothing really to look at. And in the distance, the far future, there's a mountain of something waiting. But it's so far away and it's covered with clouds called uncertainty and doubt.

But I guess that's what life is for. Search around and find what your mountains are, what interesting piles of objects can you find in your landscape?

Tomorrow will be better. And the day after even better.

And in four days, I'll be an adult!