Potential Optimism

"You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something, sometime in your life."

How true. And sometimes, standing up for something can just be simply being yourself.

No regrets. No apologies.

Being who you are should not warrant an apology. It's others who judge, and hate, they are the ones to apologize.

"When you judge someone, you have no time to love them."

Life gets tough. I've cried in one week more than I have in a very long time. But I am trying so hard to be optimistic. I try and see the light at the end of this hellish tunnel.

"Young men, take care to not make women weep, for God counts their tears."

~President Thomas S. Monson

Ha.

Treading Water Instead of Drowning

Sometimes when life gets challenging, when every day is a struggle to keep your head up, to pretend no one's ever hurt you, you tend to forget the beautiful things about life. 

I will be the first to admit to this. I have a bad habit of focusing on the negative, to look to the future with the wrong perspective and seeing nothing but darkness and hurt.

It's not a healthy thing to do. How can I expect to heal if I continue to dwell?

Simple answer: I can't. And I won't.

Life itself is beautiful.

It's people that make it hard, but it's our job to choose to see the good.

There is always something good about your day, no matter how hard it was, no matter how many tears have found their way down your face, no matter what, something beautiful happens everyday.

I find that dwelling does no good at all... It just makes everything worse!

I'm an absolute believer that everything in this life happens for a reason.

I just have a hard time accepting it's for the better when it's something I didn't want to happen.

But I feel every day getting easier. I find it easier to look away, find something else to think about, something new to laugh at, smile about, I'm realizing there is more to life.

Some of my favorite quotes that get me through tough situations:

"The wrong one is the right one to lead you to the best one."

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."

"It's crazy right? To love someone who's hurt you. It's even crazier to think that someone who hurt you...

Loves you."

"One day, you're going to realize just how special she was. And when you do, she'll be walking hand-in-hand with the guy who already knew."

"No matter how badly your heart is broken, the world does not stop for your grief."

I'm sure most people know what I mean when I say, this week, I feel like I'm treading water instead of drowning in it.

Fake It Till You Make It

Sometimes... The best way to show you have undeniable confidence...

Is to fake it till you actually do.

This last week has been really hard.

After being with one person for so long... And then being thrown out with last week's news...

It gets pretty heart breaking.

But this will not be the end for me.

Some people get their heart broken once, and throw in the towel. They do whatever they can to keep other potential heartbreaks away. They throw away the chance to grow, to try again.

I really feel sorry for those people.

And then there's girls like me. Who try and try and try and try and put their hearts and souls on the line

Every. Time.

And every time, so far, we get our hearts handed back, with sometimes not even a "No thanks".

I will not look at this experience with regret. Because I know I put everything I had into trying to make it work. I gave all my efforts, I tried my hardest.

And that is not something, ever, to be ashamed of.

My soul is hurting, but it's not broken.

My heart is bruised but it's still beating.

I won't stop trying until I find the right one.

And then I'll try even harder.

Goodbyes

Well. I'm back. I've been gone a while I know.

My Senior prom was last week and I had a great time.

I felt so pretty that night!!

And then Spring Break...
I guess everything happens for a reason. So I found myself facing a goodbye...
A sunset is a beautiful thing.

But that's the miracle about sunsets. There's always going to be a sunrise, there will always be something beautiful next. I have to face the dark for a little while but another sun is coming just for me.

Over Spring Break I went and saw the ocean. Beautiful!

No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world won't stop for your grief.

You, and I, have to keep pressing forward. Keep hoping for a better day.

Because it will come. No emotion is final, no matter how hard things get.

I promise that this will be the last sad post. I'll have something happy to say next time.